Pocket expenses. How to teach the rules of pocket expenses for children? Give pocket money to children
While the child is small, all his needs are provided by the parents. Often the baby does not suspect that all his whims are worth something - he only needs to point with his finger, and the desired is immediately bought. And the point here is not in the income of mom and dad, but in their relation to the beloved child. Toys are enough only for one evening, and tomorrow - a new “I want”. Pocket money - pros and cons?
Pocket money
Accustoming himself to this kind of attitude, the child does not even understand how much he can require from his parents to fulfill his whims.
And desires are becoming more serious, and now soap bubbles and turntables are being replaced by the requirements for buying a Barbie doll, Spider-Man, then all sorts of fashionable school accessories, a cell phone like Lenka’s, and so on.
Suddenly, the moment comes when demands come up against the categorical "no." Next up is scandal and misunderstanding. And why? Because the kid from childhood is not used to value finances, which means that he does not understand where and how much to spend.
Refuse baby in acquiring "Disposable" toys are possible and even necessary. Already at the age of three, the child will understand if he is told that this whim can cost him to ride two rides in the park. Let him choose for himself - which is more important at the moment! The child will not be offended - he just thinks about what he really needs.
It's time for the child’s personal money comes in 6 years. It was at this time that relatives sometimes began to give not toys, but money for a birthday or other holiday. Then proceeds from the “tooth fairy” begin. At the disposal of the child appears a pretty decent amount that you can spend ...
And now begins the difficult work of explaining where you can spend money on pocket expenses. It should immediately stipulate which of the desires the child can satisfy on his own.
For example, to buy a souvenir at sea, to take additional finances on a trip with the class to purchase ice cream or toys there, just to please yourself with something pleasant for a walk with the whole family.
It is important to teach the child to evaluate whether he really needs what he wants to buy, especially if the thing is expensive. It is immediately necessary to explain that new income may not come soon, which means that funds must be managed carefully and smartly.
Finally, the child actually starts receiving pocket money from 13-14 years old. Gradually need teach a teenager to correctly distribute finances for all available needs.
Now he himself can save money for food in the school cafeteria, buy the necessary hygiene products for personal use and even such intimate items as underwear, socks and tights. I.e pocket money - This is not only financial means for entertainment, this is the amount allocated by parents for the maintenance of the child and given to him for reasonable use.
Of course, everything will not work right away, and you will have to distribute the money several times together, planning how much you need to save for each expense item. therefore better to start with the issuance of pocket money for 2-3 days, gradually increasing the period of independence to two weeks.
In high school, the child receives his finances once a month - as do the parents. The rule says: if you don’t have enough money until the next payday, these are your problems (but the cell phone should always be in the access zone!).
Probably, if every adult had gone through such a school of proper money management as a child, it would hardly have been a student situation where only pasta remained from the food a week before the scholarship, and the money was only the amount needed to travel home.
And how many young families suffer from the inability to spend money - this is one of the main reasons for the collapse of many marriages! Hence the conclusion: pocket money is serious. Perhaps you are interested in an article on such an important issue, - ?
“Mom, yesterday korzhik cost 50 kopecks, but today it’s the same - 60. I barely had enough for a fruit drink,” says the third-year-old daughter of our reader Olga after returning from school. Do I need to give money to children at this age? Should children be rewarded with money for help or good school? And when to start talking with children about the contents of the wallet. the site tried to find answers to the most popular parental questions.
After talking with a dozen parents, we found out that all families are divided into several categories. Most give money regularly as a salary (most often once a week) and control the spending of their children. Some do the same, but without control. Some parents fundamentally give out cash only as a payment for the performance of some work or academic performance. There are also those whose children receive rubles only in the form of gifts for the holidays. And finally, someone gives nothing at all.
It is worth noting that, according to the psychologist, the latter option is the most inefficient. It will be much harder for these children to learn how to manage money properly. They will face all the difficulties of the first purchases, including impulsive spending. “On the other hand, if you don’t give the child money, but help to participate in the family budget - calculating and making plans, then this will probably be avoided,” advises the candidate of psychological sciences Tatyana Yurochkina. - You can also go to the store together and make joint purchases. The main thing is not to “cut off” children from money at all. ”
“Children's“ nest egg “sometimes saves the whole family”
Girl Lisa, who was indignant at the price of cake in the school cafeteria, carries her wallet with money to school from the second grade.
“For a week, she always has an amount of 5 rubles, including broken ones for a penny. Usually she gives up water in the classroom, if I forget, ”says her mother Olga. “He can have a bite to eat in the dining room or at the buffet if I am delayed or not able to go home for lunch because of the circles.”
At the same time, according to the mother, there are no spontaneous expenses: “If I see that the amount has not been spread over the week or the remaining amount is enough for lunch, then I can not replenish the“ balance ”. And it happened that it was pocket money that the schoolgirl helped out as a guarantee when an excursion was announced in the classroom with the restriction: "The first 5-10-15 people who pass the course are coming." The girl reported the remaining amount the next day.
At home, Lisa has a piggy bank where all the money donated by her relatives goes to. “Together we decide what to buy or how much to save for a larger purchase,” says Olga. - Sometimes her “nest egg” helps the whole family out a lot, if there were big expenses the day before, or the vacation passed, and the salaries wait a month. She is very proud of this help and, of course, does not forget to remind that, they say, the debt is red by payment. ”
The psychologist supports such a “policy” of parents. “In fact, money should only be given for a specific purpose, otherwise you will just make the child sick,” says Tatyana Yurochkina. - But parents need to discuss with him at the end of the week: what was bought; how much, say, is some water or juice; what he liked more. "
It turns out that customer satisfaction is very important. The child was thirsty, so he bought water, drank and became better - it's great. If, for example, he wanted to eat and bought a chocolate bar, and after that he was sick, then the child begins to understand that he had to buy something else. “This dissatisfaction will be the transition to a new stage, when the child begins to spend money more deliberately,” says the specialist. More conscious spending is also strongly influenced by the parents' own example, who themselves relate to money wisely.
“The child must understand that money can run out”
Another important rule, according to the psychologist, is that the child must understand that money is a very limited resource. Therefore, it is best to give out money every week, and in no case to fill the gap in the children's budget ahead of schedule for no particular reason. If he unreasonably spent all the money on some “Wishlist”, then he should remain without funds until the next “paycheck”. This will lead the child to understand that the money is running out.
Moreover, in each case, the degree of freedom of the child and the amount of extradition, the parents must choose for themselves. “It all depends on the trust in the child, his maturity.” The same applies to the accumulation of large amounts - everything should take place under the supervision of parents.
“When a child collects money, there are both positive and negative sides at the same time. If he only saves so that he has a lot of money, then a money-grubber and a miser can grow up, for whom only the amount of money will be important, ”explains Tatyana Yurochkina. - It is better to treat accumulation as an instrument - for example, for making large purchases. When a child collects money, say, for an expensive toy, then, firstly, he learns to wait. Secondly, it begins to realize that money just does not get. Thirdly, the toy itself will be more valuable for the child after such efforts and expectations. ”
During the accumulation of time, adjustment of goals may also occur - the child will understand that he does not really want this particular toy and will switch to something more important. “Thanks to this, the need-motivational sphere begins to build up in relation to things - as a result, unnecessary, emotional purchases can be avoided,” the expert says.
And by the way, control at all stages is also necessary because money for a child can become the "key" to some prohibited things. Let's say he is not allowed computer games - he goes to a computer club and plays there. Or buys alcohol or cigarettes.
By law, children can only make "small household transactions"
Belarusian legislation does not contain any serious restrictions that could impede the financial education of children. However, it should be remembered that the Civil Code (Articles 25 and 27) defines the right of children (minors under 18) to make only “minor domestic transactions”.
“This concept is evaluative,” explains the lawyer of the legal consultation of Partizansky district of the capital Marina Naumovich. “It is not disclosed anywhere in the law.”
But it can be assumed that small purchases in stores fall into this category and nothing prevents your children from learning how to handle money.
Invite your child to partially pay for calls from a pocket money phone
Children should use their money not only for entertainment, but also for some useful things.
“Financial education consists not only of giving money, but also of the story of what the family budget funds are used for: telephone, electricity, electricity, food and so on. The child must also be taught how to pay in the store, that you must always check the change, ”the specialist recalls.
For example, a child can be assigned a part of the financial burden of paying for a mobile phone. Then he will have more control over his conversations.
By the way, in Finland, children are taught how to fill out bills, they are told what the payment is for, and they are introduced to approximate estimates of the cost of food and clothing. “This is all done so that the child can compare their cash expenses. Imagine that he wants an expensive toy that is comparable to or even exceeds her grandmother's pension. And then it’s great to let him know how much with the same money you can buy another - products, clothes. ”
A lot of attention is also paid to financial education in other countries. Here are the Germans of a child with the world of finance, literally from an early age. For example, from the age of 5, parents can give children half a euro per week so that the child understands the price of money and tell him how much, for example, candy or entertainment costs.
Some parents in Germany teach children to pay taxes. For example, part of the pocket money is taken away (on average, German schoolchildren receive from 5 to 20 euros per week from their parents).
It’s still hard for preschoolers to control their spending
Another of our readers, Anna, also tried to teach her children financial wisdom.
“For some time (about half a year) we gave our sons (8 and 5 years old) every Sunday 5 rubles. At first, the children spent the money on the same day, then they began to divide it into parts, then save it, ”says the mother. “If the children go with me to the store, they can buy whatever they want, but from their wallet.” I bought gelatin and Kinder - wait until next Sunday. If you want an expensive toy - collect it. Now the elder saves all the money that he gets from the good grandmother, periodically converts them into currency. And the youngest, as he spent everything at a time, is spending it. ”
Anna is worried that one son will be thrifty, and the second will always be without money. But the psychologist reassures: “It is difficult for preschoolers to operate with money. They still cannot control themselves. He needs help in choosing, pacifying impulses, delaying purchases in order to check his desires. And the amount to be issued must be adequate so that it is not a pity if the child loses money, ”Tatyana Yurochkina gives advice.
“The child must have responsibilities that he performs for free”
Another big question is whether it is worth paying for helping parents or for good grades. For example, our reader Sergei says that this summer, when he went with his average daughter to the forest, for an incentive he suggested she pay a ruble for a liter of berries. “And she worked with great pleasure in the forest,” says father. - Of course, the children themselves then burst this blueberry with sour cream, but there was payment for the fact of collecting it. It’s just that I don’t give money to my pocket. At the same time, cleaning the apartment is a duty of girls, which is not encouraged. ”
Tatyana Yurochkina considers this approach to be competent. “There are specialists who believe that a child should also earn money,” she says. “But there is a danger of monetizing our own help to parents.” The child still must have a specific set of responsibilities, which he must do absolutely free. And already beyond these duties, if the child shows any help and additional efforts, it can be encouraged. ”
But it is better to start using such schemes not earlier than the youngest adolescence, that is, from 11−12 years. The main thing is that this does not concern any emotional things related to the manifestation of kindness and care. If you give money for the fact that the child was affectionate and caring, you can raise a person who will focus on money in the manifestation of relationships, to manipulate.
“I also have differentiated tuition fees,” Sergey continues. “But only for a quarter.” If the grades are good, then one amount, if they get worse, then it decreases and vice versa. For example, over the past quarter, the daughter received 17 rubles. "
The psychologist believes that such encouragement is also possible. "The main thing is that this does not lead to lies and hiding bad grades."
As a child, I was friends with one boy. He did not have a dad, and his mother worked at two jobs to put her son on his feet. From the age of five, Yura went to kindergarten alone and came home, one went to a bread store, and in the evening he met his mother from work. From each salary, mother gave Yura a certain amount of money, for which he had to buy bread and milk for a month. Jura left the change left at the end of the month for pocket expenses. Peers (and I, including) were very jealous of him, because he can do anything and no one scolds him. In addition, Yura always had a lot of personal money (despite the fact that his mother received very little). And our parents whispered, looking at Yura: "Who will grow out of him? The child is completely abandoned. Why does the mother give him money?" Everyone expected that Yura was about to follow the curve path: he would start drinking, smoking and stop learning, but nothing of the kind happened, rather, on the contrary. Yura grew up, graduated with honors from the institute, and now he has his own business (and quite prosperous one). He does not smoke (why spend money on poison?) And drinks only on holidays. And Yura spent his first earned money not on entertainment (as we did), but on a gift for his mother and English courses. Now, looking at Yuri, I think about the fact that in many respects his achievements are the merit of his mother, who in time accustomed the child to independence, the ability to plan expenses and did not follow on his heels. Of course, before, time was calmer. And we did not live in Moscow, but in a quiet town near Moscow, where everyone knew each other. But, in spite of everything, it is still necessary to teach a child to plan his expenses, only when and how to do it?
Money love account
To give or not to give the child money? If to give, then from what age and in what quantity? These questions concern almost all parents. According to children's psychologists, giving money to a child is not only possible, but also necessary, it is only necessary to consider several important points in order to get the most out of it. First question: how to give your child money? There are several different ways. Some give children money from time to time, to suit their mood. For example, when dad came home a little tipsy and he wants to make everyone around happy. For a long time I could not understand why my neighbor’s son was upset if dad comes sober from work. It turned out that a neighbor, only being in a drunken stupor, always gives the child money (and then he can never remember how much he gave). The boy, not yet able to properly count, already learned to use weakness. But pocket money obtained in this way is of little use. In this case, the child is unlikely to learn to value money and plan his budget, since it is completely unknown when the next installment will be and in what amount. In addition, it is likely that the child will connect two concepts: if he drank, there will be money. According to the organization of anonymous alcoholics, children whose parents indulge only being “under the degree”, having matured, often can not do without doping (alcohol, drugs).
Another way to allocate pocket expenses is a reward system. "If you give the child money, then for something, and not just like that." That is, parents pay the child good behavior, grades or housework. In this case, there is a risk that the child will cease to behave free, to study or to help with the housework for free. If you pay the child a certain amount for washing dishes or cleaning toys, then he will not agree to do this work for free. Of course, it is necessary to encourage, but one should know the measure and do it only in special cases. For example, each family member has certain responsibilities (cleaning in his room, taking out the bin, studying, etc.), which he must perform for free. But if you ask a child to do something that is not his responsibility (to remove his brother’s things) - then he can be rewarded for this in monetary terms.
The third option for allocating pocket expenses (the most successful) is regularly, for example, on the day of salary, to give the baby a certain amount. Then the child, firstly, will learn to plan his expenses, since he will clearly know when the next installment will be. And secondly, the baby will understand that parents are given money not just like that, but for hard work. Personally, for a long time I was sure that the money was taken from the box, and my parents went to work just like that (I go to kindergarten, and they go to work). And to explain to the parents that they did not have money, I persistently suggested that they look into the box. I still remember my disappointment at the contemplation of an empty casket ... Naturally, you can’t give the child the last. It all depends on your income. The amount should correspond to family income. For example, in the West it is customary to allocate 10% of net family income to minor children for pocket expenses, that is, from what remains after payment of all utilities and insurance. This decision seems logical to me.
Better sooner than later
At what age can a child be given money? There is no single answer to this question. Some children and in 3-4 years can independently plan their purchases and do not need the constant attention of parents. And others, even at the age of 10, are not able to calculate how many chocolates can be bought for twenty rubles. Much depends on the nature and temperament of the child. But if you are not going to support your child until retirement, you need to let him feel the taste of personal money in a timely manner. Of course, it is not easy to decide on such a thing, but anyway, the moment will soon come when you have to let an adult child out from under your wing (at least to the store), and the sooner this happens, the better. According to psychologists, the optimal age for accustoming to pocket expenses is 5-6 years. First, at this age the child already has an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat is possible and what is not, and guesses the consequences. He is unlikely to spend the entire amount on ice cream only because his mother usually buys him only one glass. On the other hand, at the age of 6, the child has enough childish interests and he does not have a desire to spend his money on the forbidden fruit (for example, on cigarettes). "The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle is much more attractive and interesting." Secondly, this is a good workout before school. It is with the help of personal money that a child will quickly learn to count in the mind. And thirdly, the sooner the child finds out the price of money, the more carefully he will treat them in the future.
Many parents believe that their five-six-seven-year-old child will not be able to find the right use of money. "The child is still too small, he will either lose money or spend it on some nonsense." In fact, the willingness to own finances does not appear suddenly, it is created in the children themselves. And if it is not developed, it may not manifest itself at the age of twenty or thirty. First of all, stop being nervous. Until you believe that the child has grown up and become quite grown up, he will never learn to spend money on his own. It is believed that the sooner a child has his own money, the more they will benefit. You will see, the result will exceed even your wildest expectations.
One of my acquaintances, young mothers, was tired of the endless requests of her three-year-old daughter of ice cream, sweets and chewing gum. Having received once again the children's allowance (for which, unfortunately, almost nothing can be bought), I completely gave it to my daughter and said that it was for a whole month. What is most surprising - at first the girl spent the entire amount on sweets. And now, a year later, she is saving up for "serious" things - clothes for dolls and hairpins for herself.
Where does the money go?
Often parents are afraid that the money will be harmful: after all, having at their disposal a certain amount, a child may acquire what he was not allowed to do before. Of course, at first it’s better to control costs. But this must be done carefully. To get started, give your child maximum freedom in your presence. For example, if you want to buy a toy for a baby, give him the amount that you were going to spend, and let the child make his own choice. Your task is to help the child make oral mathematical calculations in order to understand what he has enough money for and what not. And refrain from commenting if, instead of a developing constructor, he buys ten cars and one hundred and first boomerang. The child must understand that this is his personal money and he can spend it on anything.
If the child independently went to the store - do not rush immediately to check what he spent the money on. Better calmly ask him what he bought for himself. Even if you notice that the baby tells you, to put it mildly, “not everything” and tries to conceal the bulk of its purchases, do not take it to clean water. Perhaps the child is afraid of your anger or, conversely, wants to surprise you. Pretend you believed him. By the way, if the child is not afraid to show you his purchases or even asks for advice, then he really trusts you. Even if his purchases seem silly and unnecessary to you, hold back from caustic comments. You must admit that you also sometimes make absolutely meaningless purchases. The ability to spend money (like any other skill) comes with experience. Only after purchasing twenty-five soldiers, the child will understand that he does not need them in such quantities, and will stop spending his income on them. Try to show maximum patience and tact. Often children, having received their own money for the first time, let it go to all kinds of nonsense, not because they really want it, but to check the reaction of their parents. "This is my money and if I buy a lot of chocolate on it, my mother will not tell me anything! Or will she?" If you do not swear much, the child will quickly get bored in this way checking parental patience. Well, if you give the child money and at the same time indicate what to spend it on, the money is worthless. In this case, pocket expenses will not be of any use.
Once again about the benefits of money
- The kid will quickly learn to count, as well as add and subtract. The brain, like muscles, needs constant training, and it is verbal counting from early childhood that contributes to the active development of mental abilities.
- The child will learn how to plan his budget and survive from "paycheck to paycheck", which not all adults can do.
- The child will understand that money is given to parents with difficulty, and will learn to value it.
- The kid will understand that not everything in the world can be bought.
- Having learned the price of things, he will become more frugal and neat. If earlier, having spoiled a toy, he knew that you can always beg a new one from your parents, now the child understands that he will have to buy a new toy with his own money.
- The child will understand that you trust him and therefore do not require a purchase report.
- You will finally find out what the child is really interested in.
Safety regulations
And finally - a bit of safety. Be sure to explain to the child that money is not only an opportunity to buy the right things, but also some danger. The child must clearly understand that money must be very careful. Here are some of the most common "no." You may add a few of your requirements to this list.
- You can’t show your money to strangers (including peers).
- You can not borrow from other people's uncles and aunts.
- You can’t give your money to strangers if they promise to give it back (I forgot my wallet at home, come with me, I will return the money to you).
- You can not leave your money in the pockets of clothes (in the locker room).
- You can not carry all your savings with you (you can lose).
- If someone threatens a child and demands money (and other values), they must be given away without resistance. Life is priceless.
Comment on the article "Pocket expenses"
Oh, come on! If everything was so simple, then the problem would not exist! As far as I know people, it is impossible to draw unambiguous conclusions that once they gave money, they know how to plan expenses, if they did not give it, it means they will grow, there will be a squander. All wrong. This problem does not lie only in the “give - not give” plane, it is much broader: how do the parents themselves relate to money (for example, hand out their money); Does the family have a cult of money or material well-being (as an expression of possessing a large amount of money); a lot depends on the financial situation of the family and, of course, on the nature of the child. I think that many came across families where two children were brought up by the same parents, and as a result, one spender, the other Plyushkin. Learning to count in the mind can be just as successful by playing Monopoly. In short, IMHO, a person’s attitude to money is the same individual trait, as, for example, love of order. And, God forbid, it depends on education here, 25 percent. For the “Safety Rules” - thanks, very clearly and correctly. I will inspire my children.
2003-10-17 17.10.2003 14:22:55, osik 2004-03-25 25.03.2004 01:32:38, LarisaMy daughter will soon be 9. I think that if a child is just given money, he won’t value it as much as he earned. Because parents don’t give it to her either. She asked me herself, “Mom, how would I make money, Advise. What do I need to do for this? "She offered me help around the house, but I shamed her and she agreed with me. Then we decided that she would practice reading in Russian and writing every day, and I told her for that I give a certain amount (quite a bit, but every time after the work done). The fact is that we live in Amer they read and even reluctantly speak Russian, they have to somehow encourage them. She spent part of the money she earned on her brother’s birthday present, and continues to save the rest. Sometimes, when we go to the store, she takes them with her but hesitates to spend.
2004-03-25 25.03.2004 01:32:15, Larisai began to give my pocket money since September. He is a sophomore of 7.5 years. 10r / working day, 5 / p. output. at the same time, officially grandparents buy chewing gums, sweets, lollipops and popped rice. Rebekah is forbidden to spend this money on chips (he cannot) and gambling. As a result, for 2 months I collected 260 rubles, there is no problem with the nut in the BUY store !!! he has money and now he is thinking of buying a chewing gum or collecting it for a new bionicle. He plans what and when he will buy, how much when he will collect, and is even going to make small presents for his friends and his friends. I was very worried when I started, and now I am satisfied, I was afraid he would let things go, and he began to think, to evaluate his capabilities and the need for acquisition.
2003-10-21 21.10.2003 13:24:49,Yes, in practice, of course, it’s more difficult. I give money to my 9-year-old son, probably 50 rubles a week. He takes a bus home or to classes 2-3 times a week. So here is his way of saving this. Do not ride minibuses. But do not pay on the bus - he met with conductors and they do not take money from him (he is small for his height, but still does not attract a preschooler). On the one hand, I think it’s necessary to pay. And on the other hand - if you always wait for the bus like that, you can freeze completely or be late for English. So far my exhortations do not help :(
2003-10-19 19.10.2003 23:03:30,We give since 5 years. First, every day, then once a week, now he asked to give him 1 time per month (more amount is obtained). He buys what he wants, we only allow ourselves to advise in something (for example, about the quality of the goods). Often I bought sweets for me and my dad :) Now he puts it off for toys, we have completely disappeared the problem of begging for another machine or some other “nonsense” :)
2003-10-24 24.10.2003 09:49:24,Horoshaya stat "ya. Podrastet det" nemnogo, stanem probovat "sovety. Hot" umenie tratit "den" gi mozhet zavisit "i ot haraktera tozhe, pomoch" rebenku pouchit "sya s detstva i popytata" sya skorreoshibi ’poki’ nekiri ’poketi’ Razve esli voobwe ne davat "den" gi i ne uchit "budet luchse?
2003-10-17 17.10.2003 20:20:57,Only 14 reviews.
Do teens need money? Should parents give them pocket money “just like that” or should the child be able to earn them? At what age can I start working, and do I have to pay for household chores and study?
In 2005, the Public Opinion Foundation (FOM) conducted a survey according to which 65% of adults believe that adolescents should have pocket money, and 28% are categorically against it. My own survey among friends and acquaintances showed that more than 2/3 of teenagers receive pocket money from their parents (regularly or on request), they don’t give money to someone for reasons of principle or because the family has a difficult financial situation, but someone already moonlighting himself.
When, how much and for what?
Some children start getting pocket money before school. Of course, a 5-year-old child does not leave home alone, it would seem - why does he need money? But the ability to independently decide whether to spend 20 rubles on ice cream or put them in a piggy bank is very important at this age. Many begin to give their children money when they go to first grade so that they can buy something in the school cafeteria. But toys and magazines still continue to be bought by adults. “Some people in the class are given money for pocket expenses, but they don’t spend it - they save up money, they don’t know what, they just boast from time to time:“ I have one thousand! “And I have 52!” Says 10-year-old Sasha.
“Pocket money began to be given to me at the age of 7, at 150 rubles a month. I don’t remember where this money went. It even seems to me that in the end they were not given so often, because I did not really need it. She seemed to want her dog to buy toys every month. In the sixth grade, they started giving 1,000 per month. I spent this money mainly on food and accessories. ” (Vera, 17 years old)
Most parents cough up when a child becomes a teenager, he has an independent life and, accordingly, the need for money. 33% of adults polled by FOM who believe that adolescents should have money indicated their practical need (transport, refreshments, entertainment). And only a few see the educational and upbringing role in pocket money: only 10% of respondents said that adolescents should be able to handle money, and 5% say that this contributes to independence, independence and growing up.
Meanwhile, experts believe that the adolescent’s pocket money and the ability to independently manage it, although it is not an absolute guarantee of financial success in adulthood, but contributes to economic literacy. And it is often not enough for many adults who can’t calculate their own budget a month in advance, become victims of scammers and financial pyramids, buy “discounted goods” at exorbitant prices and don’t read the contract when issuing a credit card.
“I never had problems with money: until the age of 15 I simply didn’t need them, and then I started going to the movies without my parents, hanging out with friends. It was enough to just ask for money, and they gave me exactly as much as I was going to spend: if I go to the cinema, they give me money for a ticket, for some snack and something to drink. ”(Sveta, 18)
Money has “on demand,” psychologists say, several drawbacks. A teenager, as a rule, has to inform his parents what exactly he needs them for, i.e. adults are ultimately responsible for making the decision. If money is given out every time a child asks, then he may get the impression that there is unlimited money: dad just takes out his wallet and takes out the necessary amount from there. Well, he will certainly not learn how to save and plan expenses. So if you want a teenager to be able to handle money (i.e., comprehend the basics of economic literacy), and also want to cultivate independence and responsibility in him, then you need to allocate the agreed amount all the time, regardless of whether the child spent the previous money or they stayed with him.
But in Russia, so far, parents think the least about economic literacy of children: according to TNS companies, 73% of teenagers ask their parents for money when they need it, 32% get money as a gift, 31% ask their grandparents and only 29% get a fixed amount regularly.
Everyone decides how much money to allocate, based on the financial situation in the family, as well as imagining how much a teenager costs in the “world” (for example, going to the cinema or a cup of coffee in Starbucks).
In 2009-2010, according to a study by the TNS marketing company, Russian teenagers received an average amount equivalent to a week. For comparison: the Norwegian (9) and Finnish (4) teenagers and teenagers from the UAE (9) were the richest, and the Egyptians () and India () were the poorest. In Germany, a weekly minimum is recommended for each age: 0.5 euro - up to 6 years, 1.5 euro - up to 10, 10 euro - up to 13, 20 euro - up to 15, etc. With the amount given to the child, some German parents withhold 20% of the tax, thus accustoming their children to financial discipline.
My survey showed that on average, teenagers are given from 100 to 1000 rubles a week (depending on age: 100 rubles - up to 12 years, 1000 rubles - already for high school students). One of the parents with a calculator in his hand calculates the financial needs of the child: "transport, lunch in the school cafeteria, mobile communications, once a movie and two times a cafe, plus 300 rubles" from above "for unaccounted expenses." Well, someone approaches calculations with a fantasy: “We give the children a weekly amount, which is calculated according to the formula“ 50 cents for each year of life, rounding up, ”says the father of two Russian-Canadian boys, 9 and 14 years old. Most give, focusing on friends and acquaintances.
Trust or verify?
The topic of money touches on another very important family problem: the problem of trust. Among those who do not give pocket money to their children, only 1% explain this with a difficult financial situation and 2% explain that a teenager has to earn money on his own (POF survey).
The remaining opponents of pocket money are firmly convinced that adolescents should not be trusted in any case, because they will spend money primarily on the “forbidden” - drugs, alcohol and cigarettes - 10% of respondents say so (“Prior Teenagers don’t have to give money for 16 years - this leads to smoking, drinking, walking ») Many people think that “teenagers do not know how to manage money” - 5% ( “Their brain is not ready to spend it, it’s the same as the gun in their hands”) And yet - “money spoils, corrupts youth” (5%). One gets the impression that some respondents do not remember themselves in their teens, or vice versa, they remember very well (according to the FOM, it is clear that this was mainly answered by respondents over 55 with a lower secondary education; by the way, they believe that all earned the teenager must give money to parents).
Teenagers, meanwhile, can be much more reasonable than adults think about them: “My friends and I somehow discussed and decided to clearly adhere to the position: not to spend money received from parents on something like alcohol and cigarettes. These kinds of things should not be purchased at their expense. If you are to ruin yourself, then at least not get the ancestors involved in this matter. ” (Sasha, 15)
Too many adults believe that they should decide for minors: “He has parents - why does he need money?”, “If he needs something, he will ask for money, and I’ll see how much he needs it, he needs to control teenagers” (POF poll), “And did he have the strength to refuse is it tempting if the school has a stall with chips and chewing gum? ” Many people prefer to buy expensive toys and gadgets for their children than trust him with a small amount. “In our classroom, few people are given money, but everyone has iPhones and iPads - this is called“ do not refuse a child anything, ”says the mother of a sixth-grade son of a Moscow school.
According to the Superjob survey, of 78% of those surveyed who give out pocket money to their child, 61% of parents said that they control their expenses and only 17% fully trust their child.
These distrust and control practically erase the idea of \u200b\u200bteaching a teenager to make the right choice on their own. And even when we simply point out to him that it’s not worth spending money, criticize, this leads to the fact that, firstly, we again deprive him of the opportunity to be independent, and secondly, we provoke deceit. For example, I only recently found out that when my daughter was 11 years old, she secretly bought Witch magazine from me. Having criticized it once for the purchase (and having forgotten about it right away), I became the reason that my child was forced to hide something from me, although it was inconvenient - I had to hide the magazine and read it when my mother did not see it. You might think, I myself never spent money on nonsense ...
“Parents do not actually control my expenses, but sometimes I can trace such an interesting thing: my mother may ask what I spent this or that amount on, and if I understand that I spent it on stupidity, I try to somehow hide it, sometimes even have to cheat. I know that I’m doing wrong, but my mother’s demagogy about how and when I need to spend money, I’m also reluctant to listen. I know that in any case I’ll get some kind of disapproving nod from my mother, because she considers it wrong how I manage my money. We have completely different views, and therefore I try not to always spread about my purchases, whether it is an album of my favorite band or some kind of cute little thing, in her opinion completely ugly and useless. I try to avoid such “reports”. I have no bans, if I want to buy something - I will buy it, I will hide it, but I will buy it. ” (Ksenia, 18)
I knew that my daughter sometimes buys sprite and chips, which never happens at home, but that was already her area of \u200b\u200bresponsibility: I had already told everything that I could tell about harmful fast food. As it turned out, I’m not alone: \u200b\u200b“I will buy what they really need, and let them buy soda and sweet bars themselves,” says my friend, the dad of two teenagers. “When after the pool we pass the vending machine with snacks, and my son asks for something to buy, I remind him that he has his own money. In the end, I give pocket money so that they themselves buy what they want. "
“They do not require reports from me, they do not impose bans, because my mother knows that it would not occur to me to spend her money on completely unnecessary things. It’s another matter that sometimes it seems to her that I probably should not buy the 7th white blouse, but this is limited only by an disapproving look. ”
Very few parents understand that pocket money fosters a teenager's independence and responsibility:
“They do not control my spending - they consider that it is my money and I must learn to manage it myself. Although at first I was ordered to keep a diary of expenses, but not because they did not trust me - it was important for them to show me how to plan and control my expenses ”(Vera, 17 years old). “My mother has never been giving me cash for two years now, every month she transfers me money on a credit card of about 10-15 thousand. So she conducts financial control ”(H., 16 years old).
Such an approach is considered by experts to be the most correct. The main thing is not to cover with money all the requests of the child, but to teach him simple bookkeeping: by recording expenses and incomes, the teenager will understand what his money is spent on and how much he can spend every day to last a week.
How much money should be given to the child in order to take into account his interests and at the same time not to spoil?
American psychologists believe that it is necessary to tie the size of pocket expenses to the age of the child, i.e., if 6 years old - 6 dollars a week, 10 years - 10 dollars, etc.
In Germany, the size of pocket expenses is fixed by law. A child under the age of six should receive 50 cents a week, a 7-year-old child - 1.5-2 euros, 10-year-old - 10-12 euros, and from 13 years old - already 20 euros, 15-year-old teenager - 25- 30 euros per week. For non-payment to parents, a fine is threatened.
In Russia, there is no regulation on the issue of pocket money to children, so it’s rather difficult to judge the size of pocket money. There are no official statistics. And there are no recommended sizes either. However, as practice shows, the amount of money given depends on various factors: the financial capabilities of parents, the amount of money given to other children, the maturity of the child, his age, as well as common sense, etc.
1 Financial position of parents
For wealthy parents, the problem is not to give too much. For low-income people - to find at least something to provide for pocket expenses, without developing an inferiority complex in the child and opening up opportunities to earn money for their needs. Although practice shows that often wealthy people do not give children a lot of money. So Rockefeller allocated a very limited amount to his children, which forced the children to constantly earn extra money for their needs. Large amounts are usually received by the offspring of parents belonging to the middle class in terms of their income.As for people with modest incomes, you should not go out of their way to stretch your son or daughter to some norms. You give as much as you can, but be sure to give! And you constantly encourage the child that he, in spite of everything, can achieve a lot in life.
2. The size of pocket money depends on the maturity of the child
The maturity of a child in relation to money is usually manifested in the fact that all the money that falls into his hands is not wasted: something useful is bought on it, some is saved, something is invested in order to increase it.So, one of my acquaintances, whose son has been living with their grandmother for a couple of years for family reasons, gives their son a certain amount, which includes paying teachers, buying clothes, textbooks and quite a bit on top for pleasure. But whenever she asked if he had money, her son always said that he had, and he made all the calculations with his teachers himself, kept track of payment dates and never wasted money.
3. The amount of money received is affected by the size of the amount received by peers.
Children always know how much their peers receive from their parents, and they want to have as much. If the amount does not reach the size given to peers, you should not be afraid to explain to the child the difficulties of the financial situation of the family, without fail emphasizing that this does not affect the child’s ability to build a financially secure life when he becomes an adult. There are a lot of examples in history when people became millionaires who had a poor childhood.4. Common sense in determining the size of pocket money has not stopped anyone.
So, if today we are guided by the recommendations of American specialists and tie the amount expressed in our national currency to the age of the child, then common sense will not be enough, because the 10 rubles that should be given to a 10-year-old child are, of course, too little , because with this money the child will not be able to buy anything but chewing gum, and the child simply will not be able to accumulate for weeks on a toy, the simplest of which costs more than 100 rubles. Therefore, issuing, for example, 30 rubles a week can be considered reasonable, and if you need more, offer to earn.5. Family problems.
In single-parent families or families where parents are too busy with their work, business, career and spend little time with children, the amount of money received by children can be very significant. Thus, parents try to make amends for the children. But this is the wrong approach. The child needs parental attention and love, not gifts and money that parents try to replace.It should be noted that the size of the pocket should increase with age and cover some minimum pleasures in accordance with age requirements.
Thus, how much to give the child pocket money, parents must determine for themselves, based on their own life situation. But most importantly, we must remember that the money given to the child is a learning tool through which parents help the child master all the financial skills that he will need in adulthood.